My Most Subtle Rescue Strategy
I’ve gotten much better at not rescuing people from their emotional process.
I don’t rush in with reassurance.
I don’t pat arms or hand out Kleenex to make it better anymore.
And I’m just now noticing something else.
When someone is uncomfortable with me, distant, or upset, my knee-jerk reaction is still to assume I did something wrong.
It happens fast.
Almost automatic.
It feels like responsibility.
It sounds like integrity.
But more often than not, it’s a rescue strategy disguised as responsibility.
Because if I caused the discomfort, then I can fix it.
I can absorb the pressure.
I can manage the tension.
I can make it go away.
I’m actively working on not doing that.
On noticing the urge to grab the pressure, and choosing instead to let it stay in the space.
To be present without interrupting the process.
To resist turning discomfort into something I have to clean up.
You might recognize this pattern.
Staying longer than you should because leaving might disappoint someone.
Enduring something that doesn’t feel good because speaking up feels harder.
Taking responsibility for someone else’s reaction so they don’t have to feel bad.
From the outside, it looks like being thoughtful and capable.
Inside, it’s exhausting.
What I’m learning is that when I can pause
When I can stay present instead of intervening
When I allow the pressure to exist without claiming it
Something shifts.
There’s more space in my body.
More clarity in my thinking.
More energy available for what actually matters.
That’s the experience on the other side of constant self-management.
Leadership that feels lighter.
Relationships with more honesty and less quiet resentment.
This is exactly what we’ll explore in the upcoming webinar, Breathing Life Into Your Leadership, on March 4 at noon.
If this sounds like something you do too, I’d love to have you there.
👉 Register here
https://www.bethoughtly.com/webinar
You don’t have to stop the knee-jerk reaction overnight.
You just have to notice it long enough to choose something different.
In your corner,
Allison
Responses