The hidden ways we make ourselves hard to work with
Most leaders I work with are not hard to work with.
They are thoughtful.
Committed.
They care.
But underneath, there is often a quiet belief:
I am not quite enough.
That belief shapes how we show up.
We dismiss compliments but hold onto criticism.
We downplay what is working and focus on what is not.
We adjust ourselves depending on who is in the room.
We hold back what we really think or want.
We try to prove, earn, or get it right.
On the surface, this looks like awareness and adaptability.
But it comes at a cost.
When we dismiss acknowledgment, people do not know what is landing.
When we chameleon, people do not know who they are working with.
When we are busy proving, we are not actually present.
Over time, we become harder to partner with.
Not because we are difficult.
But because we have made parts of ourselves invisible.
Here is what I am practicing:
Letting acknowledgment land so I can see my impact.
Showing more of myself so others have something real to meet.
Trusting I do not have to earn the room so I can actually be in it.
That is where partnership starts.
Not from doing more.
From no longer hiding.
What would you stop doing if you believed you were already enough?
If you are ready to stop proving and start partnering, this is the work we do inside the Thoughtly Lab.
Most people start with a conversation to see if it’s a fit: https://calendly.com/allison-garner/30min
In your corner,
Allison
Responses