The Reason Sounds Good. It Is Supposed To.

Last issue we talked about the moment you cross your own boundary. You set a rule for yourself: no emails after five. An email arrives. And in about thirty seconds, an inner argument plays out and you open it anyway. Nobody forced you. No one was even watching. You talked yourself into it, with a very good reason.

That is what I want to talk about today. The reason is always good. Responsible, even. That is not a coincidence. That is how this works.

Your brain is not trying to sabotage you. It is trying to protect you from discomfort. The moment you feel the pull to cross a boundary, your mind goes looking for cover. And because you are a conscientious person, the cover it finds is conscientious too.

This one is time sensitive.

They are counting on me.

I will not be able to relax until it is handled.

All of those can be true. All of them can also be your brain handing you permission to avoid sitting with discomfort. The justification is not proof that crossing the boundary is the right call. It is proof that your mind is doing its job.

Here is the practice.

When the justification arrives, before you act, ask yourself one question:

How is this reason giving me permission to cross my own boundary?

Not whether the reason is valid. It probably is. The question is what the reason is doing for you. It is giving you cover. It is making it feel responsible, even necessary, to do the thing that relieves the discomfort. Once you can see that clearly, the reason loses some of its power. It is still there. It is still reasonable. But now you can see it for what it is: permission you are writing for yourself.

You do not have to argue with the reason or prove it wrong. You just have to recognize it for what it is: reasonable, and not actually the point.

You made your decision before the email arrived, before the reason showed up, before any of this started. That version of you was not less informed. She was just less uncomfortable.

Trust her.

In Your Corner,

Allison