When "Not Quitting" Becomes the Real Trap

You don’t hate your job.
You’ve just stopped feeling alive in it.

You’ve outgrown it, but saying that out loud feels ungrateful.
You remind yourself how stable it is, how many people would love to have it.
And when the thought maybe it’s time to move on creeps in, you shut it down fast.
Because you’re not a quitter.

That’s the identity that keeps high performers stuck:
“I finish what I start.”
“I don’t walk away when things get hard.”

It sounds noble, but here’s the hard truth:
Sometimes, staying is just a more socially acceptable way of leaving yourself.

I see it all the time with leaders who score high on self-sacrifice in the Authentic Confidence Assessment. They’re loyal, driven, dependable, but they’ve built an entire career on obligation instead of alignment. They’ve learned to value endurance more than clarity.

And that trade-off has a cost:
Energy goes down.
Confidence erodes.
Purpose blurs.

The real work isn’t finding the courage to quit.
It’s finding the clarity to design something worth staying for.

That’s what The Thoughtly Lab is built around, a year-long journey for leaders who are ready to stop living by others’ expectations and start building a life that reflects who they really are.

The next Thoughtly Lab kicks off November 14.

The first step is to take the Authentic Confidence Assessment and spend an hour with me unpacking your results. You’ll see, in black and white, where you’re sacrificing your voice and what’s possible if you stop.

https://www.bethoughtly.com/ace-assessment

Believing in you,
Allison