Why I Can't Stop Watching Reality TV

It's evening. I'm on the couch. I'm watching strangers on a yacht scream at each other about things that have nothing to do with me.

I've never met these people. I never will. And yet here I am, three episodes deep, fully invested in whether someone gets fired this episode.

I used to think this was just how I unwind. Then I noticed something.

The nights I reach for it hardest aren't the relaxed nights. They're the nights I have something sitting in me I don't want to look at. A want I haven't said out loud. A disappointment I haven't let myself feel yet. A grief I keep meaning to get to.

Watching someone else's drama is easier than sitting with my own life.

It's not just reality TV. It's other people's lives in general.

If you lead a team, you already know this move. You can tell me exactly what's going on for everyone in your last meeting, who's overwhelmed, who's underperforming, who needs a win. Can you tell me what you want for yourself this year?

If you're a spouse, you're tracking your partner's mood before they walk in the door. You know their stress load, their bad days, what they need from you tonight. When's the last time you told them what you needed?

If you're a parent, you know every practice schedule, every teacher's name, every friend group shift. What did you want to be doing with your one life before you knew any of their names?

If you're a neighbor, you've got opinions on the family two doors down. Their renovation, their custody schedule, their new car. What's happening in your own house that you haven't looked at yet?

Different rooms. Same move.

Here's the part that's easy to miss: it doesn't look like avoidance. It looks like virtue.

I don't know if that's true for you. It's been true for me more times than I want to admit.

The overfunctioning leader looks selfless. The tuned-in spouse looks attentive. The involved parent looks devoted. None of that is wrong, and I'm not telling you to stop noticing other people.

I'm asking a smaller question. When all your attention goes outward, what does that leave you not looking at?

You don't have to answer that alone. The ACE Assessment maps where you actually lead from strength, and where you've been quietly running from something instead. 138 questions, 20 minutes, then a full hour with me to walk through what it means.

Take the ACE Assessment → https://ace.bethoughtly.com/

In your corner,

Allison