Your Trust Problem Is Not What You Think

High self sacrificers think they struggle to trust other people. And on paper it makes sense. People miss details. They forget things. They drop the ball. So you stay ready to jump in. You build backup plans. You keep everything moving. It feels efficient.

But that is not the real issue.

The real issue is that you do not trust yourself to handle the tough conversations that follow when someone does not follow through.

That is why even small hints of inconsistency create a spike of anxiety. Because if something goes sideways, it is not just inconvenience. It means you might have to say something. Clarify something. Confront something. And that feels harder than doing the work yourself.

So self sacrifice becomes the strategy. Not because others are incapable. But because avoiding tough conversations feels safer than having them.

Here is the good news. Trust is not built by waiting for perfect conditions. Trust is built by practice. Especially the practice of uncomfortable conversations.

When I started working on this, I chose small reps. One tiny tough conversation a day. A simple no. A quick clarification. A small correction instead of swallowing it. Some felt awkward. Some I cleaned up after. But every rep sent the same message. I can handle this. I can recover. I can navigate the discomfort.

That is how trust in yourself actually grows.

And once you trust yourself to have tough conversations, you do not need to control everything. You do not need backup plans running in your head. You can give others space to show up because you know you can step in with clarity if they do not.

If you want to trust others more, start by trusting yourself to talk.
One small rep a day. Build the muscle. Build the confidence. Build the trust.

If you want to see the specific ways you might not be trusting yourself, take the ACE Assessment. https://www.bethoughtly.com/ace-assessment

It maps out the patterns of self sacrifice, over functioning, and avoidance that limit your confidence. And it gives you a starting point for building the trust you want.

Believing in you,
Allison