The Dirty Yes
The fastest lie I tell is two words long: “Will do.”
Someone asks me for a favor. My stomach drops. My mouth says yes anyway.
I call that a dirty yes. It sounds clean. It isn’t.
If you’ve ever said “no problem” while everything in you said the opposite, you know exactly what I mean.
Here’s what I can see: a dirty yes isn’t an accident. It’s doing a job.
Part of the job is being seen a certain w...
You're Not Careful. You're Vague.
Someone stretches a rubber band, aims it at you, and holds it there.
You don't relax. You flinch. Shut your eyes. Put your hands up. Not for the sting. For not knowing when it's coming.
A client of mine works for a leader like that. She doesn't say things directly. She hints. She hedges. She leaves things unsaid that would take the same ten seconds to say plainly.
She thinks she's being careful...
Every Suggestion Is Also a Verdict
I made a suggestion to a friend going through her divorce. Just a side comment, barely a thought.
"I don't want to do that," she said. Fast. Flat.
Her walls went up before I'd even finished the sentence.
Got it, I thought. I overstepped.
It felt like help when I said it. It landed as criticism when she heard it. Same sentence, two completely different things, depending on which side of it you'r...
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