She Had a Good Reason to Stay Quiet
You have something you want to say, and you've decided it's not worth the risk.
A client of mine sits on an executive team. Her CEO is confident, successful, and very easy to follow, as long as you agree with him.
So why would she rock the boat?
It's a fair question. Agreeing works. And she tried the other way once. She advocated for something, and she was dismissed. She took it as proof that she should never ask for anything again.
That makes sense. Most of us would have drawn the same conclusion.
The reasons for staying quiet are usually logical, and most of them are probably valid. There is a real risk in saying the thing. Stick your neck out, and it can get cut off. The tall poppy gets cut down first.
But notice what happened. One no became a rule. A single moment turned into a permanent policy.
One no isn't a verdict. It's information about one moment, one ask, one person on one day.
The belief underneath is that staying quiet is the safe choice. It feels like wisdom. It often started as a flinch.
And it has a price that never shows up on an invoice. It's exhausting, because the wants don't disappear. They go underground, and you carry them every day. It breeds resentment. And it's disempowering, because each time you decide not to ask, you teach yourself you don't get a say.
Keep that up for years, and you can stop knowing what you want. Then no one can build anything with you, including you.
What she didn't have, in the moment she was dismissed, was another option. All-in partnership is always available. It can lead to better solutions, higher buy-in, and ownership spread across more people. But someone has to offer it first.
So here's an invitation. Pick one thing you've decided not to say. Offer it as a partnership, not a demand: "I'd love your thinking on something." And try it first with someone safer than the person who dismissed you. Practice where the risk is low, so your voice has somewhere to come back.
Then ask yourself: who am I becoming if I keep this up?
If you'd like to know where you go quiet, the ACE Assessment will show you exactly where it shows up, and I'll personally walk you through what it means for you.
In your corner,
Allison
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