We think sacrifice is leadership.“I’ll take the hit so they don’t have to.”“It’s easier if I just do it myself.” Here’s the problem: sacrifice always backfires. You resent them. You gave up your time, energy, or health. Deep down, you wanted them to notice. When they don’t, you feel unappreciat...

Here’s the part that surprises most leaders:Self-sacrifice isn’t a choice. It’s a nervous system loop. Here’s how it works: Your brain hates conflict.Saying “no” feels like danger. Your amygdala (fear center) flares, so you avoid it. Your body rewards sacrifice.Every time you say “yes,” y...

Most leaders I work with believe self-sacrifice is just their problem to manage. If I stop working so hard, everything will fall apart. Neuroscience tells a different story. When you stop sacrificing yourself, your nervous system recalibrates. Instead of operating in chronic fight-flight-freeze, ...

We tell ourselves sacrifice = helping. But you and I both know… a lot of the time, it’s not helping. It’s making things worse. Here’s what it really looks like: We avoid conflict and just do the work ourselves. We step over missed deadlines instead of calling them out. We say yes when we don’t h...

Most leaders think sacrifice means putting others first. But the most costly sacrifices aren’t obvious. They’re the ones that look like “helping” when really, you’re avoiding. You avoid a tough conversation by fixing someone else’s work. You step over a missed deadline and stay late to clean it ...