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Breathing life into your leadership

When "Not Quitting" Becomes the Real Trap

You don’t hate your job.You’ve just stopped feeling alive in it.You’ve outgrown it, but saying that out loud feels ungrateful.You remind yourself how stable it is, how many people would love to have it.And when the thought maybe it’s time to move on creeps in, you shut it down fast.Because you’re...

Dec 15, 2025

Resentment Usually Starts With Us

I used to think resentment meant someone wronged me.They didn’t pull their weight.They didn’t appreciate what I did.They should’ve known better. But every time I slowed down and looked closer, I found the same thing:I had made a choice I didn’t actually want to make. I said yes when I wanted to s...

Dec 15, 2025

Resentment Is A Signal, Not A Sin

Most people hate resentment.They think it means something’s wrong with them. It doesn’t.It means something’s off. Resentment shows up when you say yes but don’t define the terms.You think you’re being generous. You’re actually being unclear. That was me a few years ago.Our oldest moved out. We ag...

Dec 15, 2025

When Helping Isn't Helping

Most of us help from emotion, not awareness.Someone is struggling and we feel it, the frustration, the discomfort, so we step in. We call it helping. But often, it’s relief for us. Think about teaching a child to tie their shoes.They get frustrated. You feel it too.You want to fix it. But you can...

Dec 15, 2025

When Obligation Replaces Desire

It doesn’t happen all at once.Over time, you start living by everyone else’s expectations.You stop noticing what you want and start doing what you think you should. That’s the quiet drift into self abandonment. The red flags sound like:“I should.”“I have to.”These are clues you’re operating from ...

Dec 15, 2025

The Endless Search for Acceptance

We all want to belong.It’s human. Saying yes, being agreeable, keeping the peace. These are ways we stay connected.They work.We feel safe. Included. But it never lasts.Because belonging that depends on approval is fickle.It fades the moment we stop performing for it. That’s when the inner critic ...

Dec 15, 2025

You Keep Fixing the Room

You walk into a room and instantly sense what’s off.Who’s tense. Who’s quiet. Who’s checked out. You start adjusting.You lighten the mood. Smooth the edges. Say what keeps things calm. You’re not just reading the room. You’re trying to fix it. That’s the trap.It feels helpful, but it’s co...

Dec 15, 2025

When Strength Becomes Self-Abandonment

I once worked on a team with a highly critical, volatile teammate, the kind of person who could turn a meeting into a minefield. The owners tolerated her behavior, even though it was damaging relationships and morale. I stayed far too long, telling myself:I can handle it.I’m strong enough...

Dec 15, 2025

When Helping Hurts

You spend your energy noticing everyone else.Who needs help. Who’s behind. Who looks stressed.You step in before anyone asks. It feels generous. It looks noble.But every time your attention goes out there, it pulls you further away from yourself.You stop knowing what you want. You just know what ...

Dec 15, 2025

The Ship That Wasn't Mine

A few years ago, I was part of a program led by a dynamic, inspiring leader, the kind you’d move mountains for. I loved the work.I loved the team.I loved the freedom to make it my own. Then the executive team cut costs and removed that leader.They said the program could run without him. I was tor...

Dec 15, 2025

When Obligation Starts to Cost You Yourself

Some people quit too soon.You’re not one of them. You’re the person who stays.You stay because people count on you.You stay because you said you would.You stay because you believe that walking away makes you the kind of person you never wanted to be: selfish, disloyal, ungrateful. So you push thr...

Dec 15, 2025

Compromise Is Killing Your Leadership

Most leaders run on Zero-Sum Thinking—the belief that if I get what I want, you have to lose something. It sounds like: 100% me, 0% you. 0% me, 100% you. 50% me, 50% you. We call that compromise. We call it “fair.”But here’s the truth: it’s a trap. Somebody always loses.And even at 50/50, nobod...

Dec 15, 2025

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